Small Town

I was married with 2 kids and a good job as a machinist. At a party, I let someone inject cocaine into me in 1993.

My marriage ended, my job put me on medical leave after hiring a quack doctor who told me I was too sick to work. Plant manager told me he would not have an HIV-positive employee. I found a lawyer in Dallas who said it takes up to 2 to 3 years to sue for your job back and you can not file for disability during the wait.

Cobra insurance played out and refused to pay for HIV high cost meds. I was terminated by mail after 6 months. I was turned down for Social Security 8 times because of my healthy new HIV. Yet was granted it on mental disability after having a nervous break down from losing everything my world.

The guy who put his dirty needle in me died leaving 2 daughters. I have taken HIV meds for many years, some mutated and became useless, and I am on the last group. Research has slowed due to economy and drug cost. Four HIV drugs cost $4,000 a month. I see my 2 children and grandkids some now. I found out I had also contracted Hepatitis C with the discovery of the test in 2004. Liver biopsy showed little damage.

I do not drink or smoke and have watched a lot of people die from this. I have no sex life because I would never give this curse to anyone. I see a psychiatrist. I'm having trouble getting medications on time even though they're paid for. Side effects of two decades of HIV meds has left me deteriorated. I live in stigma, often not telling doctors my status because they use cross protection. They will not treat you with these diseases. No support groups, no friends, just pills and more pills and blood tests. Life has lost meaning. I thought of suicide living in Smallsville U.S.A. I pray someone will read this and not inject drugs, or have unsafe sex. I only live because God does not forgive suicide.